This post was written sometime between the end of 2013 and the first of 2014. I don't want to lose what I wrote, so I am posting it now. So much "water under the bridge"...
Last year was a building up of emotions in me that took a turn around the end of the year. The month of May was the first year anniversary of mom's death. It was hard to go through all the special days, birthdays, holidays, etc. for the first time without being able to share them with mom. June and July were the months that we used to empty the Alexandria house and get it sold. Phillip came down to spend the last weeks of July with me in Alexandria and helped me clear the house for sale.
The house was sold at the end of July. Thank You Lord Jesus! I spent the next few months doing paperwork involved, dividing up the proceeds of the sale, closing the checking account we used to pay the bills, etc. It doesn't sound like much as I write it, but it was emotionally draining as well as time consuming...
I could feel myself needing to take a break, and I wanted to get away before school started again and we would be committed to caring for Kara. September passed and we were almost through October when I just knew if I didn't get away, I would explode. The signs were there, I just don't feel like any of the family living with me saw them. I was feeling sorry for myself!
Anyway, at the end of October, there was a church gathering for a weekend in Percy Quin State Park in Mississippi. I knew I was not going to return home from that weekend. My goal was to travel away from home for a few weeks. So, Harry and I took off to Tennessee to see Joe and Wanda and all the sights between. We had a sweet time with Joe and Wanda (it wasn't long enough), and we drove down to the Gulf of Mexico for a few days.
Sitting and looking at the Gulf, walking the beach, listening to the waves, being quiet without any plans, helped to center myself again. I was able to return to Baton Rouge and pick up life where we left off.
That was the middle of November. Then came December...
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Another Two Years
Well, another two years have almost passed, and once again I am commenting on how I haven't posted anything. You would think I am so busy, I don't have time to stop to write anything...WRONG...
Yes, I do have things to do on a daily basis, but I still have time to write my thoughts down for everyone to be bored with, but, aren't you lucky that I am lazy!
Any way, lets see what has happened in the last two years... Harry and I have a few more great grandchildren. We are up to 9. And we have been told of #10 and waiting for the announcement of #ll. Our family is growing...
This past year, I woke up one morning and couldn't stand. My right leg and right arm were unable to hold me up. I didn't think too much about it, but within a few minutes of being up and sitting in my chair, I figured it would be a good idea to let a doctor tell me I was ok. So, off to the hospital ER.
After a quick CAT scan of my brain, I was transferred to a hospital intensive care unit with a brain surgeon watching to see if he was needed. My brain had a bleed in the portion that controlled my right side and was usually associated with high blood pressure. I am on medication for BP and was well within safe limits, so we don't know why it happened. Anyway, a few days in hospital, tests to show no more bleeding, therapy to regain use of my arm and leg, and they sent me home. A few months of weekly visits to physical therapy and I am a "fixed" woman.
My new normal is a few degrees less that where I was before the stroke, but I am doing ok. When I am tired, I start to drop things, stumble, etc., but basically, I am ok.
We now have a teenager living with us. Kara turned thirteen and hormones began to rage. I have no words to describe how I feel about her new personality, but am so glad her mother is here to deal with her. I hate hearing the way this teen speaks to us and her mother. I can feel my nerves start to "jitter", and I just want to get out... It's a shame I am the one that has to leave my own home, but I really don't want to deal with more stress. No real answer to current situation, but I guess a few hours away is better than hearing it all... This situation causes me to turn to my spirit and do a lot of praying for all of us.
And in the end, that is all we are supposed to do. Trust in the Lord, speak to Him in all situations, about all things...wait on His answer. Be sure to listen to His speaking, say "amen, Lord", be His testimony on the earth, grow and mature in the Body of Christ, pray...pray...pray.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Missing Two Years!
It's hard to believe I have not posted to this blog for two years. Yikes! The last post was the beginning of 2012. So much has happened during these two years, I can't believe I didn't take the time to put down in words all my thoughts and actions.
Really, no one is missing much! I do have another blog that I kept during my Mother's living with us. I finished that one when my Mother passed away during 2012. It is still available to read if anyone needs a way to fill their time. I think it's a good read!
During the past two years a few things have changed. We were able to sell Mother's house in Alexandria this past summer. That was a burden I was glad to be released from. The house will always have a place in our memories, but since none of the children lived in Alexandria, it was hard to care for it. Every time it rained, snowed, or just had windy weather, I would worry about the roof, the trees, the contents of the house... and would wonder if the neighbors would be calling to tell us bad news. So, selling it was the only option. It was emotional to take the house down. All of us gathered to claim the pieces of mom's life that meant something to us and the rest went to Salvation Army or the trash pile. It was not hard to say goodbye, but it was tearful.
So, life goes on... Harry and I stay busy with the children still living at home. Just tonight, we celebrated Melissa's birthday. Our second child is thirty seven!
Stephanie and Kara still live at home and we are the care givers to Kara after school and holidays/summer.
Our other grand babies are grown having children of their own. Meegan just had her third child this past October. A beautiful baby girl named Hannah joined her sister, Brooklyn and brother, Bryson. Heather has two, Bayleigh and Kolten; and James has two, Madelyn and Kadin.
Deanna, our firstborn, is a grandmother of seven! That makes me a great-grandmother of seven!
We all have aches and pains that have to be dealt with on a daily basis. Some of the physical issues are more serious than others, but we persevere in Christ, amen?
Now that I have restarted this blog, I will be adding much more in the coming year. I have lots of stuff rolling around in my head that I am sure is worthwhile reading about, ha! Read it or not, I don't care. This is for my mental well being. I need to release this stuff to the written page and move on!
I figure if I can remember how to log on in the coming years, reading these blogs will be like visiting old friends, or not... Anyway, we'll see...
Really, no one is missing much! I do have another blog that I kept during my Mother's living with us. I finished that one when my Mother passed away during 2012. It is still available to read if anyone needs a way to fill their time. I think it's a good read!
During the past two years a few things have changed. We were able to sell Mother's house in Alexandria this past summer. That was a burden I was glad to be released from. The house will always have a place in our memories, but since none of the children lived in Alexandria, it was hard to care for it. Every time it rained, snowed, or just had windy weather, I would worry about the roof, the trees, the contents of the house... and would wonder if the neighbors would be calling to tell us bad news. So, selling it was the only option. It was emotional to take the house down. All of us gathered to claim the pieces of mom's life that meant something to us and the rest went to Salvation Army or the trash pile. It was not hard to say goodbye, but it was tearful.
So, life goes on... Harry and I stay busy with the children still living at home. Just tonight, we celebrated Melissa's birthday. Our second child is thirty seven!
Stephanie and Kara still live at home and we are the care givers to Kara after school and holidays/summer.
Our other grand babies are grown having children of their own. Meegan just had her third child this past October. A beautiful baby girl named Hannah joined her sister, Brooklyn and brother, Bryson. Heather has two, Bayleigh and Kolten; and James has two, Madelyn and Kadin.
Deanna, our firstborn, is a grandmother of seven! That makes me a great-grandmother of seven!
We all have aches and pains that have to be dealt with on a daily basis. Some of the physical issues are more serious than others, but we persevere in Christ, amen?
Now that I have restarted this blog, I will be adding much more in the coming year. I have lots of stuff rolling around in my head that I am sure is worthwhile reading about, ha! Read it or not, I don't care. This is for my mental well being. I need to release this stuff to the written page and move on!
I figure if I can remember how to log on in the coming years, reading these blogs will be like visiting old friends, or not... Anyway, we'll see...
Monday, January 2, 2012
Closing the year 2011
Today is January 1, 2012. The first day of a new year. Happy birthday to my mom!
The month of December flew by. We celebrated Harry's birthday and Meegan's birthday. Kara was in a school play for Christmas that surprised us all. No mention of Santa, but a play about the gift of a savior given to the world. Wow, is all we could say! There were doctor visits, school vacation, other assorted activities and even a colonoscopy for me (two polyps found and taken care of). We ended the year with believers at a video training at the meeting hall. Christ was our celebration!
Now we start a new year and a few changes are being made. I have been doing the church books for several years now, but over the past several months I have been having the sense that I just can't concentrate like I used to. I find I forget things I would normally remember without any notes. If I don't write something down, I just let it fly out of my head. It's not that I truly forget it, but there is not the same sense of needing to remember it. So, I have asked to be released from bookkeeping because I am afraid I will make a costly error due to inattention. The brothers are putting in place another member of the Body who is a CPA and will keep the books for the church. That's a big weight off my shoulders.
That being said, I have started to consider what I think is happening to my head. I have spoken about that to several people and even asked my surgeon about my theory, but no one seems to agree with me, but... here's what I know.
Prior to my major fall and surgery earlier this year, I was not having any problems keeping up with paperwork/bookkeeping for the house, mom, and the church. I was able to do several things at once and keep more things to do in order in my head. I was amazing, ha ha!
After the surgery and the few weeks on pain drugs, I noticed my lack of concentration when someone was speaking to me and my inability to stay focused when I did computer work for the house or church. If anyone tried to speak to me, I would lose my place and would find it hard to get back in the flow of work. I am still finding I need everyone to leave me alone while I concentrate on what I am doing or else the bills won't get paid correctly.
So here's what I think... Because of the length of the surgery and the time I was under anesthesia and the weeks prior and after surgery I was on heavy duty drugs, my brain has lost some of it's cells. Drugs kill brain cells and I was on a bunch of them for some time. Because of my age, I am able to function but at a lesser ability. My brain is re-wiring itself to make my right arm move correctly, and because other brain cells were killed, my brain is having a hard time finding new routes to connect "what I know" to "how to do it." Because I have less active brain cells than a younger person, I have a more difficult time relearning stuff. I think the younger you are, the easier it is to bounce back because you have lots of unused brain matter waiting to be put to use.
I really can't believe the medical community does not know this happens to people. I guess if they told everyone, there would be less surgeries, therefore less big houses, boats, cars, vacations, etc. for the doctors and nurses doing these operations.
With this theory in mind, I consider my mother's situation. She has had two major surgeries in her later years. Both operations took hours and had many pain pills to follow. She even now takes pain pills to help with her artheritis needs. If drugs kill brain cells, the older we get the less brain cells we have to compensate for those we are killing off. My mother doesn't stand a change to have a functioning brain anymore.
Why didn't we think about this, know about this, when making decisions for surgeries and drug dosages. I know I could not have made a different decision about my arm, but I was not prepared for the "fallout".
Anyway, that's my opinion and maybe one day I will be proven correct.
The month of December flew by. We celebrated Harry's birthday and Meegan's birthday. Kara was in a school play for Christmas that surprised us all. No mention of Santa, but a play about the gift of a savior given to the world. Wow, is all we could say! There were doctor visits, school vacation, other assorted activities and even a colonoscopy for me (two polyps found and taken care of). We ended the year with believers at a video training at the meeting hall. Christ was our celebration!
Now we start a new year and a few changes are being made. I have been doing the church books for several years now, but over the past several months I have been having the sense that I just can't concentrate like I used to. I find I forget things I would normally remember without any notes. If I don't write something down, I just let it fly out of my head. It's not that I truly forget it, but there is not the same sense of needing to remember it. So, I have asked to be released from bookkeeping because I am afraid I will make a costly error due to inattention. The brothers are putting in place another member of the Body who is a CPA and will keep the books for the church. That's a big weight off my shoulders.
That being said, I have started to consider what I think is happening to my head. I have spoken about that to several people and even asked my surgeon about my theory, but no one seems to agree with me, but... here's what I know.
Prior to my major fall and surgery earlier this year, I was not having any problems keeping up with paperwork/bookkeeping for the house, mom, and the church. I was able to do several things at once and keep more things to do in order in my head. I was amazing, ha ha!
After the surgery and the few weeks on pain drugs, I noticed my lack of concentration when someone was speaking to me and my inability to stay focused when I did computer work for the house or church. If anyone tried to speak to me, I would lose my place and would find it hard to get back in the flow of work. I am still finding I need everyone to leave me alone while I concentrate on what I am doing or else the bills won't get paid correctly.
So here's what I think... Because of the length of the surgery and the time I was under anesthesia and the weeks prior and after surgery I was on heavy duty drugs, my brain has lost some of it's cells. Drugs kill brain cells and I was on a bunch of them for some time. Because of my age, I am able to function but at a lesser ability. My brain is re-wiring itself to make my right arm move correctly, and because other brain cells were killed, my brain is having a hard time finding new routes to connect "what I know" to "how to do it." Because I have less active brain cells than a younger person, I have a more difficult time relearning stuff. I think the younger you are, the easier it is to bounce back because you have lots of unused brain matter waiting to be put to use.
I really can't believe the medical community does not know this happens to people. I guess if they told everyone, there would be less surgeries, therefore less big houses, boats, cars, vacations, etc. for the doctors and nurses doing these operations.
With this theory in mind, I consider my mother's situation. She has had two major surgeries in her later years. Both operations took hours and had many pain pills to follow. She even now takes pain pills to help with her artheritis needs. If drugs kill brain cells, the older we get the less brain cells we have to compensate for those we are killing off. My mother doesn't stand a change to have a functioning brain anymore.
Why didn't we think about this, know about this, when making decisions for surgeries and drug dosages. I know I could not have made a different decision about my arm, but I was not prepared for the "fallout".
Anyway, that's my opinion and maybe one day I will be proven correct.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Stephanie's Birthday
Today, in 1978, I was preparing to go into the hospital to give birth to our 3rd child. Harry had gone to work, Deanna was in school, Melissa was playing in the living room, and I was in the bathroom wondering if I was just peeing, or if my water had broken...
I called my cousin David's wife, Mimi, and she was able to watch Melissa so I could visit my doctor to see what was going on. I was very close to my due date, so we were pretty sure today was the day.
To make a long story short, after a day of organizing children's care, house needs, etc., I entered the hospital, was prepped, and laid around several hours until push came to shove! And then I was holding my beautiful baby girl, Stephanie Marie. She was healthy, had all fingers and toes she was supposed to have, and was, like I just said, beautiful!
The new chapter of our lives was being written as we lived each day with our girls. Watching them grow; frustrations, joys, sorrow, happiness, worries, peace; the many emotions we went through watching our children develop into young women were part of our lives as parents and we embraced them and made them a part of our history.
We have been through many chapters with these three women and the book is still being written. This year, today, we went through our daily routine of getting Stephanie and Kara out the door for work and school.
I was driving Kara to her school when I realized I had not told Stephanie happy birthday. The feeling of sorrow was so strong in me. It's not that we have forgotten her birthday. How could I ever forget?
Because of the activities that take place every Tuesday, we decided to celebrate Stephanie's birthday yesterday. When we picked up Kara from school, we went to WalMart and bought a few presents and the makings for Stephanie's favorite meal. I make round steak in brown gravy with rice and green beans. Harry and Kara made a brownie cake. Melissa helped Kara wrap the presents.
Stephanie came home surprised that we were celebrating that night, but she had a good evening. The food was very good (even if I say so myself), we sang happy birthday and ate the brownie, took pictures, and Steph opened her presents and liked what she got!
So, this morning, knowing it was her birthday, eating a birthday brownie for breakfast, and packing her lunch with leftovers from her birthday dinner, I still did not speak the words... and we need to hear the words spoken...
So, to my dear daughter on her birthday...I love you so much. We have enjoyed you for 33 years and pray the Lord blesses us with so many more. We hope your day will be filled with happiness (even though you have to work). God bless you with His riches. Know you are loved.
I called my cousin David's wife, Mimi, and she was able to watch Melissa so I could visit my doctor to see what was going on. I was very close to my due date, so we were pretty sure today was the day.
To make a long story short, after a day of organizing children's care, house needs, etc., I entered the hospital, was prepped, and laid around several hours until push came to shove! And then I was holding my beautiful baby girl, Stephanie Marie. She was healthy, had all fingers and toes she was supposed to have, and was, like I just said, beautiful!
The new chapter of our lives was being written as we lived each day with our girls. Watching them grow; frustrations, joys, sorrow, happiness, worries, peace; the many emotions we went through watching our children develop into young women were part of our lives as parents and we embraced them and made them a part of our history.
We have been through many chapters with these three women and the book is still being written. This year, today, we went through our daily routine of getting Stephanie and Kara out the door for work and school.
I was driving Kara to her school when I realized I had not told Stephanie happy birthday. The feeling of sorrow was so strong in me. It's not that we have forgotten her birthday. How could I ever forget?
Because of the activities that take place every Tuesday, we decided to celebrate Stephanie's birthday yesterday. When we picked up Kara from school, we went to WalMart and bought a few presents and the makings for Stephanie's favorite meal. I make round steak in brown gravy with rice and green beans. Harry and Kara made a brownie cake. Melissa helped Kara wrap the presents.
Stephanie came home surprised that we were celebrating that night, but she had a good evening. The food was very good (even if I say so myself), we sang happy birthday and ate the brownie, took pictures, and Steph opened her presents and liked what she got!
So, this morning, knowing it was her birthday, eating a birthday brownie for breakfast, and packing her lunch with leftovers from her birthday dinner, I still did not speak the words... and we need to hear the words spoken...
So, to my dear daughter on her birthday...I love you so much. We have enjoyed you for 33 years and pray the Lord blesses us with so many more. We hope your day will be filled with happiness (even though you have to work). God bless you with His riches. Know you are loved.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHANIE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHANIE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPHANIE!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Summer Happenings
Shortly after I wrote the last entry, I had to come to the very hard decision to allow trained professionals to take care of my mother, a nursing home! It was so hard to accept and mom is still having a hard time accepting where she now lives. We found a very nice, small facility close to our home so we can visit often. The staff there have fallen in love with mom. She really is a sweet old lady. Everyone there assures me that in time mom will settle down, make friends, and enter into the daily goings on around the center. I am praying and waiting for that day.
I am still going to physical therapy for my shoulder, and the therapist is still causing me PAIN! There are enough exercises for me to do, that I am there for two hours, three times a week. I come home and drop! But, I know if I did not go there, I would become slack in doing the exercises here at home and my arm would suffer.
I am trying to reclaim my house from all the "spreading" Stephanie and Kara have done since they returned. They have a portion of the living room as their bedroom and a portion for Kara's toys. That leaves very little for us to have a seating area for watching tv. The dining room is their closet and they have a lot of stuff in it. So, this past week, Harry and I started clearing mom's old room (I hate to admit she will not be able to come back home) and moving her bed so Stephanie could get her bedroom moved in. Steph has a lot of stuff and I am putting my foot down on where her stuff will live! Find a place in your room or throw it away!!!
Today, we did some cleaning of our room and the living room and I am tired, but a good tired. A tired that lets you know you accomplished something. Still a long way to go, but the house looks a little better.
Kara started back to school this past week and we are back in the "school mode". Up at 6:15 am, starting the coffee and preparing for Kara to wake up. Getting her dressed, fed, and lunch made is my morning routine and while she is doing bathroom stuff, I get dressed and then drive her to school. Harry gets to go in the afternoon to pick her up. It gives him time to spend with her before she gets home and is distracted with other things. I try to get her to do her homework early but that doesn't always work out.
Once Stephanie gets home from work, I am no longer the one in charge so I get to sit back and bite my tongue when I see things that need to be done and no one doing it; like homework, baths, dinner, bed at a reasonable time, etc. I could complain more, but...
As much as I hated having to move mom to the Care Center, I have been able to return to meeting with the saints on Sunday mornings. Over the past several months, I have had faithful sisters calling me for fellowship and Harry and I have enjoyed our morning time with the Lord, but I really missed the "face to face" with the saints here, so to be back in the meetings is wonderful. I try to share with mom the enjoyment from the meetings, and she seems to enjoy the sharing.
My arm is getting tired, so I am signing off for now...
I am still going to physical therapy for my shoulder, and the therapist is still causing me PAIN! There are enough exercises for me to do, that I am there for two hours, three times a week. I come home and drop! But, I know if I did not go there, I would become slack in doing the exercises here at home and my arm would suffer.
I am trying to reclaim my house from all the "spreading" Stephanie and Kara have done since they returned. They have a portion of the living room as their bedroom and a portion for Kara's toys. That leaves very little for us to have a seating area for watching tv. The dining room is their closet and they have a lot of stuff in it. So, this past week, Harry and I started clearing mom's old room (I hate to admit she will not be able to come back home) and moving her bed so Stephanie could get her bedroom moved in. Steph has a lot of stuff and I am putting my foot down on where her stuff will live! Find a place in your room or throw it away!!!
Today, we did some cleaning of our room and the living room and I am tired, but a good tired. A tired that lets you know you accomplished something. Still a long way to go, but the house looks a little better.
Kara started back to school this past week and we are back in the "school mode". Up at 6:15 am, starting the coffee and preparing for Kara to wake up. Getting her dressed, fed, and lunch made is my morning routine and while she is doing bathroom stuff, I get dressed and then drive her to school. Harry gets to go in the afternoon to pick her up. It gives him time to spend with her before she gets home and is distracted with other things. I try to get her to do her homework early but that doesn't always work out.
Once Stephanie gets home from work, I am no longer the one in charge so I get to sit back and bite my tongue when I see things that need to be done and no one doing it; like homework, baths, dinner, bed at a reasonable time, etc. I could complain more, but...
As much as I hated having to move mom to the Care Center, I have been able to return to meeting with the saints on Sunday mornings. Over the past several months, I have had faithful sisters calling me for fellowship and Harry and I have enjoyed our morning time with the Lord, but I really missed the "face to face" with the saints here, so to be back in the meetings is wonderful. I try to share with mom the enjoyment from the meetings, and she seems to enjoy the sharing.
My arm is getting tired, so I am signing off for now...
Monday, July 4, 2011
Broken Shoulder - Chapter 2
This entry will be quick, I think...
After a few hours in the emergency room and x-rays on my shoulder, the doctors sent me home with my arm in a sling and heavy duty pain pills. I was told to see an orthopedic doctor the following Tuesday (I fell on a Thursday afternoon) I was told my humerus bone was broken...that's it, just broken. Oh and by the way, we don't splint or cast the upper arm. It gets to hang in a sling while it mends, but mine would need surgery...
I was not given the chance to view my x-rays. I asked, but the doctors conveniently forgot about my request. When I finally saw the x-ray, I understood why they did not want to show it to me. I guess they were afraid I would become hysterical when I saw how many pieces of bone was floating in the shoulder joint.
I fell on the last day of March. On April 1st, I started calling friends and family and all thought I was trying to pull an April Fool's joke. Ha Ha! No Joke, folks. This was the real deal!
I had to be propped up on the sofa with lots of pillows and there I stayed for the next 11 days!!! Just to get up and get to the bathroom was a major ordeal. I needed help getting up, getting down, walking (drugged), bathing, etc. With much effort, I was able to take care of personal needs (know what I mean?) but I needed help pulling my pants up. How humbling! Harry finally had me naked in the shower, and he couldn't do anything about it, poor man!
Anyway, surgery day finally arrived. I went under and came out with new hardware in my shoulder, and a long recovery period ahead of me.
Slowly, slowly, over the past several weeks, I am beginning to use my arm in limited ways. To look at me, my arm looks normal just hanging by my side. But, when I start to use it, then the limitations can be seen. I still cannot raise it very high, and the physical therapist is working to improve that range of motion.
I guess long after therapy is over, I will be having to exercise my arm on my own. If I let a day go by without doing any stretching of it, I suffer the next day. Oh well, I am learning to deal with my limitations, day by day.
Oh, and in the midst of all that I have been going through, I have had to down-play just how bad it was so I could keep Mom's world as normal as possible. So while I have been in a sling and basically left handed, I have had to help her with all her physical needs. It's been a rough few months.
But praise the Lord. He is merciful and supplies us with His grace and peace. Each day is another chance to trust in Him, love Him, wait on Him, and speak Him to all we meet. And most times, we do!
After a few hours in the emergency room and x-rays on my shoulder, the doctors sent me home with my arm in a sling and heavy duty pain pills. I was told to see an orthopedic doctor the following Tuesday (I fell on a Thursday afternoon) I was told my humerus bone was broken...that's it, just broken. Oh and by the way, we don't splint or cast the upper arm. It gets to hang in a sling while it mends, but mine would need surgery...
I was not given the chance to view my x-rays. I asked, but the doctors conveniently forgot about my request. When I finally saw the x-ray, I understood why they did not want to show it to me. I guess they were afraid I would become hysterical when I saw how many pieces of bone was floating in the shoulder joint.
I fell on the last day of March. On April 1st, I started calling friends and family and all thought I was trying to pull an April Fool's joke. Ha Ha! No Joke, folks. This was the real deal!
I had to be propped up on the sofa with lots of pillows and there I stayed for the next 11 days!!! Just to get up and get to the bathroom was a major ordeal. I needed help getting up, getting down, walking (drugged), bathing, etc. With much effort, I was able to take care of personal needs (know what I mean?) but I needed help pulling my pants up. How humbling! Harry finally had me naked in the shower, and he couldn't do anything about it, poor man!
Anyway, surgery day finally arrived. I went under and came out with new hardware in my shoulder, and a long recovery period ahead of me.
Slowly, slowly, over the past several weeks, I am beginning to use my arm in limited ways. To look at me, my arm looks normal just hanging by my side. But, when I start to use it, then the limitations can be seen. I still cannot raise it very high, and the physical therapist is working to improve that range of motion.
I guess long after therapy is over, I will be having to exercise my arm on my own. If I let a day go by without doing any stretching of it, I suffer the next day. Oh well, I am learning to deal with my limitations, day by day.
Oh, and in the midst of all that I have been going through, I have had to down-play just how bad it was so I could keep Mom's world as normal as possible. So while I have been in a sling and basically left handed, I have had to help her with all her physical needs. It's been a rough few months.
But praise the Lord. He is merciful and supplies us with His grace and peace. Each day is another chance to trust in Him, love Him, wait on Him, and speak Him to all we meet. And most times, we do!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Broken Shoulder! Chapter 1
I just read the first entry from March 29th. Little did I know what would happen two days later!
I was looking at some plantings with Harry on the back patio and I had turned to go back inside. Walking and talking did me in. I stubbed my foot on a brick, tried desperately to catch myself, but found myself falling (it seemed like slow motion) face first down, down, down. Landed with the largest blow to my right shoulder with my right knee taking some of the pressure... I knew immediately that I had broken my arm - big time!
So, there I was. Moaning on the ground, holding my right arm, directing the girls to call 911 and to inform Mom before she saw me on the ground and worried.
Did I say worried? When Mom comprehended where I was, she started screaming! Yes, screaming! She completely lost any control she should have had. She was screaming, "My baby! My baby! I need to get to my baby. I want my arms around my baby!" Over and over and over. She was moving her wheel chair to the back door to see me, continuing to scream. The girls had a real chore keeping her in her chair. Did I mention she is wheel chair bound. She would not have been able to take one step toward me much less out and down from the back door and over to me.
The fire department arrived first. The firemen had to pass Mom to get to me, but were afraid she was going to stroke out or have a heart attack. I was the one hurt, but she was winding herself up! She would not listen to anyone. The EMS team had to divide themselves between me and her. If I twisted my neck and head, I could see her at the back door, and I was yelling "Mom! Mom! Look! I'm OK! Stop Screaming! Listen! I'm OK! Stop screaming!" Instead of being able to concentrate on my own needs, I was having to worry about her ending up stroking out!
When I was finally put on the gurney and they were trying to get me through the house, Mom was making their job harder by trying to stop the thing so she could "put her arms around her baby". I finally had to tell them to get me out of there. I needed to be in the hospital! My mother's concern did not offend me. No, in a way, it made me feel good to know she was so concerned, but in another way, it frustrated me to see her so out of control when I needed her to be in control. I was leaving the house without knowing if she would be alright... what a dilemma!
I was looking at some plantings with Harry on the back patio and I had turned to go back inside. Walking and talking did me in. I stubbed my foot on a brick, tried desperately to catch myself, but found myself falling (it seemed like slow motion) face first down, down, down. Landed with the largest blow to my right shoulder with my right knee taking some of the pressure... I knew immediately that I had broken my arm - big time!
So, there I was. Moaning on the ground, holding my right arm, directing the girls to call 911 and to inform Mom before she saw me on the ground and worried.
Did I say worried? When Mom comprehended where I was, she started screaming! Yes, screaming! She completely lost any control she should have had. She was screaming, "My baby! My baby! I need to get to my baby. I want my arms around my baby!" Over and over and over. She was moving her wheel chair to the back door to see me, continuing to scream. The girls had a real chore keeping her in her chair. Did I mention she is wheel chair bound. She would not have been able to take one step toward me much less out and down from the back door and over to me.
The fire department arrived first. The firemen had to pass Mom to get to me, but were afraid she was going to stroke out or have a heart attack. I was the one hurt, but she was winding herself up! She would not listen to anyone. The EMS team had to divide themselves between me and her. If I twisted my neck and head, I could see her at the back door, and I was yelling "Mom! Mom! Look! I'm OK! Stop Screaming! Listen! I'm OK! Stop screaming!" Instead of being able to concentrate on my own needs, I was having to worry about her ending up stroking out!
When I was finally put on the gurney and they were trying to get me through the house, Mom was making their job harder by trying to stop the thing so she could "put her arms around her baby". I finally had to tell them to get me out of there. I needed to be in the hospital! My mother's concern did not offend me. No, in a way, it made me feel good to know she was so concerned, but in another way, it frustrated me to see her so out of control when I needed her to be in control. I was leaving the house without knowing if she would be alright... what a dilemma!
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